Perfect
by soHAPPY
Summary: Song fic to the song Perfect by Simple Plan. A certain drummer boy contemplates and acts out on the odd relationship depicted between his father and himself.


**Summary**: Song fic to the song Perfect by Simple Plan. A certain Drummer boy contemplates and acts upon his and his father's odd bond.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing of SOR.

**Perfect**

**Hey, dad, look at me**

**Think back and talk to me**

**Did I grow up according to plan?**

I wish I could tell my dad that I was getting good grades. It hurts all the time when he shakes his head at my grades. It hurts when he shakes his head at me when we have dinner parties. It hurts when he doesn't even look at me anymore with the same loving face. But, I'm trying.

**And do you think I'm wasting my time**

**Doing things I wanna do?**

**But it hurts when you disapprove all along**

I'm really trying. I can't help it, if I think my drums and band are more important than school. Why can't he just live with the fact that I like it?

**And now I try hard to make it**

**I just want to make you proud**

Someday. Someday, he'll look at me and be proud that I'm his son. He'll show me off and brag to his friends about how I'm the perfect son.

**I'm never gonna be good enough for you**

**Can't pretend that I'm all right**

**and you can't change me.**

But, in the back of my head, I don't think that day will come. At least not anytime soon. He's always talking about Harvard and Yale and Berkley. He's trying to alter the person I am today into someone I know nothing about.

**'Cuz we lost it all**

**Nothing last forever**

**I'm sorry I can't be perfect**

I hope he knows that I still love him regardless....... But I don't think love is there between us anymore. We used to be so close, but it's like we're both gone now. Does that make any sense?

**Now it's just too late and we can't go back**

**I'm sorry I can't be perfect**

What we had before was so..... genuine. No one can takeaway the bond between the father and a son...... but something, like school, can.

**I try not to think**

**About the pain I feel inside**

**Did you know you used to be my hero?**

I used to look up to you, dad. Everything about that guy was all I wanted to be. However, things change........ but I wish they wouldn't. I really wish they wouldn't.

**All the days you spent with me**

**Now seem so far away**

**And it feels like you don't care anymore**

Those times when I was smaller, were great, but those times changed. Change is supposed to be good though..... it's supposed to be, but how come it isn't? I know he's given up on me and is trying to mold my little brother into him, but I know that's not going to work.

**And now I try hard to make it**

**I just want to make you proud**

**I'm never gonna be good enough for you**

I'll still persevere to be the greatest son ever, but if that's not going to be good enough...... I'll give up. Yes, I, Frederick Jones, am going to give up. If he can't see the pressure and the great deal of stress he's putting on me, than you know what...... he's not even the slightest bit close to the father I thought he was.

**I can't stand another fight**

**And nothing's alright**

Sometimes I laugh about it, like my sanity is gone. We fight because he thinks I'm not trying, but I am. Damn, I even took drugs for him. It was stupid, I know, but I wanted so much for him to just acknowledge. I wanted that hug we used to share. I wanted that bond, like Zack and his father have now.

**'Cuz we lost it all**

**Nothing last forever**

**I'm sorry I can't be perfect**

**Now it's just too late and we can't go back**

**I'm sorry I can't be perfect**

But, it all fell into different parts, like a mirror shattering into pieces. I'll never get that A and maybe even if I do, he probably won't even care anymore. I don't know my life and I don't know what will happen. I don't know if I'll get into Harvard. I don't know if I'll get into Yale. And, I don't know if I'll get into Berkley. What I do know is that if these are the places and things I want, they won't happen unless he gives me a chance and starts believing in me. These things won't happen unless he realizes that I'll make mistakes like every human being.

**Nothing's gonna change the things that you said**

**Nothing's gonna make this right again**

He'll yell and tell me things I wish I never ever heard before. I'll wish I was never born. I'll wish the impossible. I won't say anything too. Those are the only times when I am silent. I'll sit there and after he's done I'll go to my room and cry. He doesn't even know I cry. He hasn't ever seen me cry because I don't want him to.

**Please don't turn your back**

**I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you**

**But you don't understand**

Only once has he seen me cry and to tell you the truth, that's now. He studies my face and for the first time I see a tinge of sadness and grief inside him. I see a tear trickle down his face. He's about to leave, but I don't want this to be the end. It can't be.

"Wait." I say in an almost inaudible whisper. "Please, don't leave."

**'Cuz we lost it all**

**Nothing lasts forever**

**I'm sorry I can't be perfect**

"What is it...... son?" The first time in a long time, he calls me son. I can see red eyes and a river of tears colliding down his cheeks; tears that have been bottle up inside him.

**Now it's just too late and we can't go back**

**I'm sorry I can't be perfect**

"I'm sorry." I crack up. I've never been like this. Usually it's a few tears, but now it's like the Atlantic Ocean is coming out of my eyes.

**'Cuz we lost it all**

**Nothing lasts forever**

**Now it's just too late and we can't go back**

"For what?" He asks, giving a sad smile, but it just turns into a depressive face that makes me cry harder. And then he gives me the one thing I've been waiting for: a hug. The hug of love, acknowledgement, and of a father. But besides all of that, I give me response.....

"**_I'm sorry I can't be perfect."_**

Perfection is not what one does; Perfection is what one is.


End file.
